The Rise of The Anti-Celebration Movement/Celebration Shaming

“Who throws themselves a birthday party? You’re not five Karina” he said. “I know and obviously I do” I replied, hoping to not sound annoyed but truth be told I was. I wasn’t surprised though, it wasn’t the first time (and I know it won’t be the last) that my overzealous self met its antithesis. Yes, my cheerful, “I’m going to have a birthday, its going to be awesome, please come” was met with an eye roll and categorized as being “self-indulgent” (exact word, kids). Never one to label someone simply as sour or as the infamous “hater” character (that's too easy), rather I sat and thought why throwing a birthday was deemed a social a faux-pas to some. This person was not the first to voice their thoughts that having a birthday party was not what people do these days and so begs the question: why do the majority of people not like their birthday or better yet, shame those that do? Why has forgetting your birthday and looking down on those that celebrate theirs become the new normal? Have we become the bland, anti-celebration generation?

If we have I kind of get it. We do have a lot of neat tools and gadgets at our disposal, our phones talk back to us and if you are reading this on your brand spankin’ new smart phone, chances are you got it pretty good (first world problems are a real thing, folks). So yes, I would assume it is hard for some to get excited about life’s milestones when everyday is a social circus for some. I don’t know if its because I grew up in communist Russia or never fully grew up in my heart but I’m still amazed by life and hate to sound cliché, but do think being alive is a gift (sorry I’m not sorry). If you know me personally then you know that I love to celebrate life and a day that I came into the world seems like a good thing to celebrate. I also think the day you, kind reader, came into the world should be celebrated too. All birthdays should be celebrated and so why wouldn’t someone be happy to celebrate their birthday or better yet, be happy for someone else celebrating their birthday? Besides, last time I checked, birthday parties were enjoyed by all who came, not just the host.

As someone who seldom rains on someone's parade (I have had my unflattering moments, I will be honest) I try to encourage people to do out of the box things with their lives and follow whatever big, bad dreams they might have. Why? Because life is boring when it’s the same ol’ daily grind. Yet, I wonder, why are there those that will go out of their way to knock down an idea (in this case a planned birthday party) when it really has no bearing on their own life? As mentioned before, merely labeling everyone a “hater” that doesn’t agree with your lifestyle is too simplistic and lazy in my books. Or maybe we are a generation of bells and whistles but no real motivation to actually do anything. You know the person that has over 4,000 Facebook friends but is always alone at the bar with no real social confidence. All smiles in their Facebook but genuine self-doubt and self-loathing in their hearts. Is that why we cant understand why someone would want to celebrate a birthday? Are we annoyed to see others celebrating because we have a lack thereof to celebrate in our own lives?

The worst part is, the unhappy ones are advising the moderately happy on how to live. Isn’t that screwed up? Grown adults taking advice from unhappy grown adults on how to live. In my life I have found that you get screwed up when you listen to other people. Rather, if you follow your own intuition you are always in the right. Maybe that’s why the majority of people are so unhappy. The endless well meaning chitter-chatter on how to live, whether or not to plan birthday parties and the other.

Going back to throwing a birthday party being categorized as a “self-indulgent” thing, why can’t such an action be categorized as a self-love thing? Why it is so hard to comprehend that some of us genuinely look forward to another year. As a woman living in modern times I know that the popular thing to do is to stop celebrating past 25 and adopt the “I’m too old for this shit” type lifestyle but truth be told, I'm not there yet (no matter how many times I do hear my mother say, “You’re not 25 anymore, Karina”) It’s true, I’m not 25 anymore but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be excited to celebrate my 31 years on this planet. If anything, shouldn’t I be more excited that I survived all these years?

Or, if you are like me and didn’t always think you’d see past 25, then you celebrate even harder, every year that you do decide to live. This is where I let you in on a little secret about those that laugh the loudest. At one point in their lives, they cried the hardest. And this is also where I tell you that those who celebrate the most today might have felt some time ago like they would never celebrate anything ever again. But that’s changed and for me my life gets only better and bigger (knock on wood) so shouldn’t I celebrate that? Besides celebrating with my fav people (birthday or not) is what makes me happy and isn’t that what life is about, to be happy?

Or maybe I fear that when I start stop celebrating life’s special moments it is then that I stop celebrating life altogether. And there’s so much to celebrate dear friends. My philosophy in life is pretty simple, I have to enjoy my life and if I don’t then I have to change my life. I wish I can throw a celebration every weekend but alas time and monetary constraints wont allow me to do such, so let me have my day. Let me celebrate with no chitter-chatter. Let me be “self-indulgent”. Let me make a Facebook birthday event page with yours truly in a skirt too short and heels too high. Let me be me, even if you don’t understand me. Because the truth is, I will anyway.