How Your Over-Conscious, Over-Thinking Self is Not Allowing You To Lead the Life You Want

You know who had it right all along? Nike. No, I’m not talking about the fact that they had celebrity endorsement deals before it was a thing (can you imagine rocking a Yeezus sneaker in 1994?) or that they brought every kid growing up in BNS a little bit of the capitalist dream every time our allowance, Hanukkah and birthday money hit the triple digits. I’m talking about the emphasis of just going for it or as the infamous saying went, “Just Do It”

If I can climb into a time machine and tell 24 year-old me anything it would be that exact phrase, “(Bitch) Just Do It”. Don’t think. Certainly don’t analyze and for the love of Yeezus (2^nd reference of the day) don’t spend weeks weighing your options (until it wasn’t even an option and the opportunity passed) but just act. Now before you label this as rash advice promoting careless and urge-oriented decision making, I’m here to tell you its not. Rather, it’s a less thinking, more doing mantra that sees dreams materialize into tangible things you can create, produce and maybe even tag on Facebook.  

It’s great to have goals (actually I highly recommend you start having them like now) but something horrible happens as you sit on a dream; looking at it, admiring it, breathing it in but not actually digesting it? With enough time it rots. Yes, even the most bound to ripe dream will rot. Not because it was a bad dream or because you didn’t have the heart, the drive or the brains to make it happen but rather it rotted for the simple fact that you left it on the shelf too long. Neglected coupled with the inaction of not doing anything allowed it to decay and what was once shiny and new became stale and redundant.

That’s the interesting thing about human beings. We are so instant gratification seeking that we are actually hesitant about doing anything that will not produce results within the week or month. I wonder how many Zuckerbergs there were until one actually took the time, had the patience and laid out the steps to see a plan out? I’m guessing a few.

On that note, why do we have good ideas but rarely implement them. Or start experiencing a lack of confidence and start questioning, “Why me?” It is that same “Why me?” attitude has made you not reach out to that guy you have always found attractive and you think you have a spark with every time you two talk. It is that same “Why me?” attitude that has made you stay quiet when you knew that answer in your grade 12 English class. Though I belong to the “Why not me?” category of people I understand those who belong to the latter. It may be hard to believe but I am a former recovering, "Why me?" 

The "Why me?" group is made up of those individuals who think great things are meant for other people; they will take the leftovers (granted there are some left). Those whose conscious is so on and in overdrive that every mistake, every road block is so carefully orchestrated (and already coming at you if you believe in the whole, think it and it will come rule of attraction) that you already failed, in your head, sitting at home on the couch, before you even tried. Doesn’t that break your heart? 

 

Me for instance, I wanted to start my own blog but my over-conscious self (and some well meaning peeps) told me nobody would get me, it would be hard to get readers, no one would enjoy reading long essays but rather prefer short tidbits of advice they can read within 5 minutes. None of those things stopped me though they are still valid (I'm sure some still don’t get and probably never will). I went forward with a dream and sit here with 55+ blog posts. Never mind who reads them and who doesn't. Dreams are foremost for yourself. What a pity that most forget that. Had I not done this blog it would have been added to the other pile of “I wanted to but this and that happened” and that’s wasn’t fair to me.

How many life goals would you say you had over the course of the last 5 years that you gave too much time to just sit there and collect dust? Fifty percent of them? All of them? You forgot to tend to it and before you knew it the dream mummified. You tried to resurrect it, bring it back to life but just like the magic in a once stellar relationship approaching its 3 year mark, once its dead, it isn’t coming back. That’s why tending to dreams, doing anything to keep them alive, much like relationships, is so pivotal to success.

The truth is every action has pros and cons. Even getting out of your front door is risky business depends on who you ask but you still do it right? Do you actually get out of bed? Of course you do. For most of us it’s a no-brainer and so why not approach big dreams with that same ballsy attitude. You have been getting out of bed like a boss for so long you just might write a book on it (see: Russian girl gets out of bed like a boss everyday). Why do you get out of bed like a boss? Because you just do it. You don’t think about it and lo and behold, it gets done. You don’t lie there in bed thinking whether or not to get up. God damn it, you just get up. You just do it. Imagine if you pursued anything you ever wanted with the same no-brainer attitude as you did with getting out of bed?

Instead we think about our dreams and goals, weigh our options get either scared or lazy. Or put them somewhere on the proverbial back burner that we forget about altogether, or rather they lay with us in our bed, forever; never seeing the light of day.

Remember that part I was saying how I belong to the “Why Not Me?” category of persons? Well, I still think I do but that doesn’t mean I too do not have a list of things I never got to because I was scared, I procrastinated, I didn’t want to do the work at the time. Believe me, I do, however, I focus on what I can do today to see them materialize instead on dwelling that they didn’t.

My advice to you (and myself) is to not let your dreams die but rather pursue them. Afraid of failing? Yeah we all are but how cool is that one you can look back and say you were a blogger and promoter at one point in time? Or pursued being a blogger and promoter at one point in time.

Why am I so motivated you ask? Well for starters, I secretly fear death and with every birthday I realize that I have one less year to do everything I want to. Or maybe as I get older I develop more confidence and self-love to actually pursue things that serve me and not waste times on those that do not. Or maybe it’s a mixture of both. And besides, why not me (or you) indeed? 

Or maybe some of want your dreams to be like an old stuffed animal you don’t wanna let go of. You just need to hold it and see that its still there. Whether you pursue it doesn’t matter, you just want to have them to comfort you when you need it.

What I have learned, if you do not pursue a dream you let the dream fester inside you till it altogether gets swallowed by doubt. When you do not pursue a dream it become dehydrated and eventually it dies. Died from natural cause the corner will probably say but you will now better, you died because you let it die.