A tiffy with a co-worker (nothing serious) ended with an
epiphany (most days should). When it was all said and done and we exchanged our, “Hope you are not mad at
me”, “Oh no, hope you are not mad at me”,
I realized something. We have uncomfortable sit downs with those we actually care
about. Think about it, when something goes unresolved it leaves little holes
of resentment that eventually ruin blankets of friendships; however, those we
truly want to keep around we confront things about. In other words, unconsciously we do not want those pockets
of unresolved issues to grow larger and more tattered. In regards to my
co-worker, I feel I can express myself to her (and her to me) because at the
heart of it, I actually really like this person and therefore I feel I can be
honest and expressive. Think about it, aren’t your most closest friendships
filled with friendly teasing and at times heated debates? Of course they are.
It is those we want to keep at an arm's distance and don’t really want to get to
know that we smile and nod even though our hearts and brains want to act otherwise. Why cause conflict with someone you don’t care about, right? Not
worth the energy, right? It is those we truly like and want resolution and understanding with that we come (above all, take the time and spend energy
on) and say, “Hey, that thing the other day rubbed me the wrong way. Lets talk”. Why do
that with somebody who you don’t care about? You wont. Not only will you not
burn that bridge but above all, there is no bridge to burn. Its all just one
big illusionary bridge. Its not really there and above all if you ever step on
it, you fall right through. Much like the friendship, there is no real foundation to it.
With that said, the whole proverbial concept of burning
bridges is an underrated one and let me
tell you why. It's not that I like having conflict with those in my life but rather I like to know exactly how strong a bridge I have with someone is and no test was ever as revealing as your first real argument . Sometimes testing proverbial bridges (however unpleasant) is a necessary
action to determine who you have a strong foundation with; which bridges are truly solid enough to run through. Or, who will throw you a life
jacket (ego and frustration aside) if others bridges you thought were real turn out to be illusions and you find yourself swimming in unfriendly waters.
On that note, can immensely strong bridges (see: true friendships) ever truly be
burnt and left with no trace? I don't think so. They might get tattered a bit but only illusionary bridges ever
disappear. See, I rather have a few select, strong sturdy ones that will be
able to hold me and all the shit I may have to cross with one day than look
around and see bridge after bridge but know deep inside that if I ever do
cross any of them I will fall right through.
Next time someone comes to you with something unplesasant and you get all, “Why is this
conversation happening?” take a minute and try to remember my words: we fight, resolve conflict and keep trying with only those we truly want to keep around. Those who have not said one ill word to you or have
never expressed any form of disappointment probably don’t care enough to do so.
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