Anyone who knows me knows that I am all about the positive life but not if it means glossing over situations with rainbows and clichés that do not apply to the real world. The following are phrases I hear on the daily. Someone please, make it stop!
“Time is an illusion.”
It is? So you are saying I can show up to work 30 minutes
late or make a friend wait for an hour and there will be absolutely no
repercussions? Amazing, what an easy going life I have been depriving myself of! To those new to the blog (welcome,
dear friend) this is me being sarcastic. See, I have a problem with thinking
that there is an infinite amount of time to do whatever you like. Some of
the most successful people I know set specific timelines and mental due dates
with goals they want to achieve. Living your life with no concrete deadlines is
easier (wont argue there) but how productive can you be? Lets get something
straight; you don’t have an infinite amount of time. Even if you are a
believer in reincarnation and think you will come back over and over to do the
things you really want to, shouldn't you still make this lifetime count?
Shouldn’t you still view time (your time) as precious? One of the worst things
is to assume that you will have more time and more chances to do everything you
ever wanted. Time is not an illusion. Rather, it is very real.
“Don’t have expectations.”
If you are a past reader then you know that I devoted a whole
post to how I think expectations get a
bad rep. What’s so wrong with having standards that you and those around need
to live up to? What's so demanding about having an expected way of how you want to
be treated? The truth is, we all have expectations (whether we want to admit it
or not); however, what you expect from others should also be expected from
yourself. Expecting to be treated with respect and kindness, I’m guilty of that
one. Maybe you should be too.
“Give Everyone the Benefit of the Doubt.”
In theory, this mantra sounds really nice. Believe and trust
all. Never mind gut feelings, reputations and little things your subconscious
picks up and transmits to your conscious, right? Wrong. Trust is earned, not
given on a silver platter to everyone and anyone we meet. Same goes for
yourself. Want to be trusted and liked? Make sure your actions and words
correlate.
“Don’t judge anyone.”
I’d like to think that when someone sees me doing my best
impression of one of the girls from “Rock of Love”, they don’t judge right then and there but rather they take a few minutes, talk to me, get to know
me and then judge me. Judge me by my
words and actions because quite honestly, what else do you have to go by? The truth is, you should judge people when you see patterns and consecutive actions. Give people chances to redeem themselves but hold
them accountable for repeated mistakes. If you ever see me act up, be a pal, make me take ownership and please judge me
when I fail to do so.
“Don’t take anything personally.”
This particular mantra I hear the most. In theory I like it because once again it makes one leave a situation guilt free. Boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you? Don't take it personally, its their demons working away! Friend deleted you off Facebook? Who cares, they are probably going through their stuff anyway! Not my fault! Right? Wrong. Sometimes it is really is you and in order to fix the situation you must first admit that indeed you screwed up. Living your life by the “It's not me, it's them/you” belief will only work as a distraction from you taking responsibility for your mistakes. Remember that part about taking ownership for your actions? Well, how can you if it truly is never your fault?
If you never ever take anything personally you are
also denying yourself emotional and mental growth because in order for that to occur we must first admit our mistakes and change our patterns. We do screw up and sometimes it truly is us and therefore
sometimes it really is personal. The faster you can sit down and ask yourself,
“Maybe it is me? Maybe they are merely reacting to my mistake?”, the faster
you can apologize, learn and be on your merry way. Sometimes it really is you.
If I could get all "New Age" on you, I'll use the "Law Of Attraction". Life basically gives you what you can put up with, if you don't settle, then it changes, if you do.. then it repeats until you grow numb and it becomes "normal".
ReplyDeleteSo setting expectations will set your vision on what you want out of the people, places and things that surround you and you'll find yourself drawn into those opportunities. Someone that doesn't fit in your world probably won't.
Once, I had a friend who abruptly went new age. He thought the answer to everything could be found by meditating. Literally everything. Even scientific truths. Here are some of his gems:
ReplyDelete"You want to make sure you eat lots of chlorophyll so you can use the energy you get from the sun"
"Those gheko's are green, that's a good sign that they need to eat plenty of chlorophyll"
"The tree outside was talking to me"
(Crying) "I just remembered my own birth" (Your eyes and senses are not capable of interpreting the world around you to a degree that you would be able to realize you were being born at this point. It's impossible.)
"I can feel my skull expanding to make room for my expanding frontal lobe"
"Can't you see we're all interconnected!"
Me: "Of course we are. Do you mean that in a metaphysical way or a butterfly effect way?"
"I'm trying to say that DNA is made out of light!"